Pimp-Pong

Science tells us we can control all our actions; they say sometimes even reflexes if we try hard enough. Can we really control all? Can we control falling in love, true love? Don’t ask me, I don’t believe there’s such a thing as ‘true love’. But back to the main question, can we? Can we choose who to fall in love with or are we just led by our lust and conditioned specifications? If your answer is yes, then you could have true love with anyone of your choice. And if no, then is love a reflex? Could it be reflex of seeing that boy with a good physique, or a girl with a nice ass? Is that love? Here’s a story of - let’s say - Ekaette.

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Mr. Nice Guy

"We all are familiar with the August Rush, In UI’s case, it was the February Rush. This is the moment it finally dawns on us, we that were freshmen in the previous session, that we had become “Stalites”. No one had the right to call us “bloody freshers” anymore. We that were once baptised now had the right to “baptise”. We now had the right to call others “bloody freshers”. We that once took cabs from Queens to Kuti will now laugh at the new freshmen and call them stupid when they lament on their naiveté and recount their own cab stories. We that were once lost in the big extensive walls of this University will now intentionally direct people to Tech when then ask for directions to CBN. 

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MOSES

     Once upon a time, in a hall where the ‘dead’ were forbidden and only the ‘living’ lived, a darkness, as of death, overshadowed the whole hall. The neighbouring halls and the distant hostels of omo-get-inside land knew not the sufferings of the living and existed in happy oblivion. The living wailed to the president, not Buhari but who won the election Buhari-style, yet 3 weeks on darkness still eclipsed the hall of the living. And just like the Israelites, the living learned to live with their pain, the burden of carrying about extension boxes, phone chargers, laptop chargers, power banks in silent hopes of an unused socket in other lands where light came not only from the scorching sun. Who to save these people from darkness? The president’s efforts came to nought and his people wailed still. The excos, knights of the JCR? The unconcerned porters? Neither. A Moses had to be found. Yes, a Moses.

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