The most inevitable thing about a war is collateral
damage, there’s always someone or something innocent that suffers for a crime
they are innocent of. For the past 15 days UI has been at war, Justice against
Veto Power. Now the question we will all be asking is, what’s the collateral
damage in this instance? The answer to that question all depends on what I
call, Perspective; one’s point of view. If you’re a very studious student who
has been ready for the exams 3 weeks ago, then the break is your collateral
damage. If you’re a prodigal son (or daughter) and school is what you call
home, then the conditions of staying in a Hall where there’s no light of water
is your collateral damage. Today’s tori is about the consequences of war we’re
currently fighting.
It’s
day 4 of the war and the school management just unleashed their secret weapon;
withdrawal of light from the halls - this ultimately affects water supply too.
However, the staff quarters do not suffer from this predicament, so people that
have friends in BQ’s allocated to staff could go there and find solace or a
temporary solution. And if you didn’t have friends in BQ’s, Agbowo would be a
good place to try your luck and when both school and Agbowo didn’t have light,
guess where we charged? I’m sure you didn’t get it, Ventura! (Yes! We did go to
Ventura to charge and shit too, no water in the halls.)
It was just a little after 7 and everywhere in Idia
Hall and its environs was pitch black, not even the light from lamps could be
found. The only form of lighting were the gentle rays of the moon and the stars
so distant. Every electricity-powered device was either dead or struggling to
remain “alive”. Church
girl’ – we use Church girl this time because it is said that “Die by Fire” is
offensive and stereotypical, but I digress - and her friend, 'Church girl’s
friend’ were desperately looking for where to juice up - we mean charge their laptop,
phones and gadgets and not whatever innuendo you thought it meant. It was not a
difficult task to accomplish since church girl knew the originator of our problems,
The pompous Fox (Very Cunny *winks*). Strolling from Idia to
the Fox’s lodge passing the back of Indy they see light in Indy. A glimmer of
hope, perhaps. Hmm, light in Indy,
they thought. But when you are one of those girls who mummy told that ‘if a guy
looks at you twice, you will get pregnant’ then the journey to the VC’s lodge
is nothing.
As they walked past the road adjacent to Zik gate
they noticed a group of guys following them. The guys walked behind them
without stealth, they wanted their presence to be felt.
“Let’s turn back” said Church girl’s friend.
“If we go back we’ll be bored tonight and throughout
tomorrow. Let’s recite Psalm 23. The Lord is my Shepherd….” Church girl replied
And so they continued their walk with their escorts
closely on their heels. The presence of the burly men begins to frighten Church
Girl, she faults herself for not going to church and instead taking on this adventure.
Probably this was God punishing her, she thought.
‘Oh Lord I’m sorry for not going to church this
evening’, she cried inside.
Finally, they arrived at their destination, the
burly men were nowhere to be found. God truly answers prayers, she whispered to
her friend. She thought the episode was over.
It’s almost 10pm, and their gadgets are fully
charged. Android phone - check. Backup Nokia Phone - check. Power bank - Check.
Laptop - check. Ah, the feeling of contentedness that filled her, you know too
well.
Church Girl
and her friend decide to set out on the journey back to their hostel. They were
about to leave when a guy - let’s say Mr Nice Guy - offered to escort them back
to their hall, but perhaps remembering mummy’s persistent warnings, they decided
to turn him down.
Shortly on their journey back, they notice the
presence of their unwanted escorts. It was only logical that they were going
back to their hall so they weren’t as scared as they were earlier. Their peace
of mind was shortlived as they once again could hear paces quicken behind them.
Before they could think of running they were surrounded by 3 guys at a location
not far away from Saint Anne’s. Church Girl looked at their hostel in the
horizon wishing she had been quicker, again she began to pray in her mind.
Literally these guys were Bahd guys and they could all smell the fear oozing
out of the two girls. One of them snatches Church Girl’s bag.
“Sister does your laptop have password?”, another of
the guys asked.
“Please”, came the reply from someone who was surely
crying, it was Church Girl.
“Plix sister, na question we ask, no dey cry, who
crying done epp? Wetin be password?”
“Tell him, just tell him” CG’s friend said, already
in tears and still reciting Psalm 23,
trying her best to stop urine from trickling down her thighs (this was
not something like a joking stuvvs).
“JesusisLord”
“We sabi say Jesus is Lord, wetin be password na him
we ask”
“The password is JesusisLord”
“So you be sister Mary? Oya make una carry una phone
make e no be like we too wicked”
They tried picking up their phones and power bank
but a harsh growl halts them.
“We no go charge phone too? Na only una sabi charge?
Drop power bank my friend!”
They did as they are told and their companions began
to walk in the opposite direction, they heard the men laugh out loudly probably
mocking their powerlessness and the ease at which they were robbed.
“God will judge you” Church girl summons the courage
and yells whilst walking back to her hall
“If na so God dey judge you think say your VC and
lecturers them go dey alive so?” and with that they vanished into the darkness
like they had always been part of it.
Most of you would probably assume that the girls
sent the story in but, Nah! They didn’t. The story was sent in by the Bahd guys
they are looking for our sister-in-the-Lord and her friend.
Below is an extract from the e-mail
“how person go rename My Computer to Jesus Pc…as if
that one never do, dem dey get 1689 sermons for lappy, you be Paul?. We are
extremely sorry. If you want your Laptop, please come and collect it.”
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