THAT WHORE-RIBLE STORY

We have all wanted to be popular at some point in our lives, usually for good reason. We wanted to be known for something good, something positive that we could hold our heads high for. However, some aspire to, or maybe settle for, popularity for the wrong reasons, hence the existence of the word -infamous. You may ask: Where do we draw the line for moral standards that may be trumped for popularity? Should we not choose to be popular of our own accord and not shooed into the position? What moral axiom separates being famous from being infamous? You may even cite particular cases: Is Kim Kardasian famous or infamous? 2Face? Flavor? Remember they both have large following around the world for their really good music, although their sexual promiscuity is known also, are they famous or infamous, perhaps both?

          At the time of writing this article, virtually every Uite must have heard of the theatrics pulled by those in charge of the Instagram account, @UI.Critics. If you have been living under a rock or you’re just not an “Instagram person”, here’s what happened:

          The people in charge of the Instagram handle, @Ui.Critics — any Wale, Uche, or Mohammed must have deciphered the essence of this Instagram account by now— decided to play God and publish their list, and I quote verbatim, of The Top Ten CASTED Hoes In University of Ibadan. For sister, Die-By-Fire, who may be wondering what ‘hoe’ means, it’s a colloquial form of the unfriendly word “Whore” which is a synonym of the word “Slut” if you may… if you still don’t understand yet, you probably should go back to living under a rock.

                    Pardon the digression. You may say some of them had it coming. So we ask, what defines a hoe? We ask you, we ask you to ask someone. One thing you’ll notice is that the definition is not clear-cut, it’s hazy. Is it the number of sexual partners you’ve had? The number of times you’ve been caught in the act? Or maybe the stories – true or false – spread by guys about your hoe-liness? Or the ease with which you are coaxed? Or that one bad story about the time you succumbed under the influence?

 Statistically, the average Nigerian must have had sex by 18, hence by 30, they must have racked up at least 8-10 sexual partners – you disagree? why do you think GES 107 is compulsory? (Why do you think 18-30 is called hoe-years in some circles?) So if the basis to determine a hoe is by the amount of sexual partners, then we are all hoes —obviously excluding you, Sister Die-By-Fire. This also applies if we’re to go by word of mouth.

With this statistic, most of us might argue that we are not hoes, we are too hoe-ly, and it is only logical that one racks up many sexual partners over time considering how long it takes to find Mr/Mrs Right. So should time factor be brought in? Since this subject doesn’t have laws and theories, who determines the ‘time factor’? Me? You? Or the society? Which is a large amount of people with different ideologies, or maybe Sister Die-By-Fire and Brother Fall-Down-And-Die perhaps.

Did the Instagram account, @UI.CRITICS commit a crime? Some say no and quote the right to freedom of expression. Some say yes and point out slander/defamation of name and person as crime. And then the arguments heat up, tempers flare and someone always ends up screaming – You should not call anybody a hoe, that’s just wrong!! This always shifts the argument to – Who really is a hoe? Is calling someone a hoe defamatory if I indeed consider it a widely accepted fact? No universal answers exist for these two questions and so whether or not they have committed a crime will depend on how good their lawyer is, should they ever find themselves arraigned in court.

        However, the case may be, we choose to condemn the actions of those at @UI.Critics, as their actions have publicly tarnished the images of some of the girls (*coughs* although some of them already have tarnished images*- just playing). If anything, one needs to remember that the internet never forgets, and the actions of those at @UI.Critics might have just spoilt future career opportunities for some of these girls. Internet trolling however is also not a new phenomenon, and even if the @Ui.Critics account is reported today and closed down, another one can spring up tomorrow and publish the Top Ten FuckBoys In UI or maybe Top 10 Silentos (Silent-ho). The fool here is whoever chooses to believe this list and castigate these girls or hold it against them.

          Not to go Die-By-Fire on you all but remember “Let he who is without sin be the first to…”

  We know the Yoruba demons are too busy offering their Kondo-lences to the girls to help us out.

           If you are racing to instagram to check out the pictures, sorry fam! They’re all gone. They pulled it down? got reported? We don’t know.  Even their website which they promised to be out, did come out but when you go www.uicritics.com you get redirected to the Wikipedia page on Cyberbullying. Like my mum will say, ‘Evil never pays,....Oya run and tell your daddy’.

                Nonetheless, in your words, ‘What defines a hoe?’ Let us know in the comment section.