We (UISTT) apologise for being MIA for a couple weeks we’ve been busy with school and you guys have not been sending your stories to our email too uistoriesthattouch@yahoo.com or to the contact us below. Anyways, how was your exam? Old things are passed away.
A common tradition as vacation comes close by is that everyone tries to finish the remaining foodstuff he/she has before going home either this or attend as many parties as you can in the short while that is left, today we’ll be addressing the former.
Opening my wardrobe, I looked at what I had left; a quarter custard container of rice, basically 6 cups of rice and half carton of indomie. I have to finish all this before I go home, I thought to myself and the laughed at how easy this will be with no roommates to share it with, they had all gone home.
I was out navigating the constringing roads of Agbowo by 6:30pm, ensuring I was not seen by fellowship members or ensnared by girls, as I was “home alone”, it’d be tempting to invite one over but the mission was to get tomatoes and pepper and I was bound to not be deterred. I got them eventually from a roadside vendor after collecting one random girl’s number, (sorry unhealthy habit).
I observed the normal rituals on getting back to my fortress, washing the pepper and then blending with The Weeknd’s Starboy blasting in the background. I was about to get to cooking in the kitchen (no roommates around so I converted one corner into a kitchen,) when I realised the groundnut oil I had was too small for the pepper I had blended.
I initiated the ultimate search for groundnut oil or palm oil, anyone would do at this time. Went to my neighbours room first and the first thing he did was laugh “The scarcest things right now are toothpaste and oil”, like I didn’t know this already.
Not letting that discourage me I went from one room to another knocking every door on my floor in search of oil but to no avail. So I go to the floor above me and repeat the same process and got the same result, though Iended up cockblocking one guy as I walked in to images that would scar me for a while especially because I knew the girl involved, I think it’s needless to speak of what I saw. This pepper cannot waste so I decided to go to the floor below me and the same process yielded the same result, no cockblocking here though just mainly hopeless boys gaming on their laptops and one heartbroken one that was singing along to Sam Smith.
Disappointed by this I decided to lay down and think, finally I got a brilliant idea; one of my roommates must definitely have oil in his wardrobe so I decided to break-in and search (not so honourable I know, but desperate times). Breaking in was easy but I didn’t want to scatter the place (that’s lesson 1 in stealing 101, if only our leaders adhere to this) so I decide to lock the wardrobe, I could not find any oil in plain sight.
Immediately after this, I got the best idea of the night; I had the anointing oil my mum gave me in 100l, the one she used to baptise me and protect me from bad friends and “witches” on my first day of school, (I’m in 400l now though). I opened the bottle of miracles and let it flow onto the pan and watched it convert pepper into a dope ass stew. After eating the rice and Indomie, I moved to return the bottle of anointing oil but then I saw EXP:231115. Please help me cry, I don’t know what to do. It’s only been two days though and nothing has happened as at yet.
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