SMILE

Hey there,

I stumbled on this blog last week and was taken aback by two things; firstly I was stunned by fact that the biggest problem in someone’s life is that a girl didn’t love him back, if only I could switch places. Secondly, someone or some people could still make out jokes from other people’s problems. So I decided to go to where it all began for these people. I went to the last page on the blog and read their first article The knife man here. For the 6 minutes I spent reading that article I actually forgot my problems, I felt what was happening to Lisa and I also laughed, a lot, I’m not a mean person but I couldn’t help it. I read more of their articles and thought, that’s how I want my story to be told and not as object of pity, or something that will end with ‘eya’ or ‘pele’. I want people to be able to crack a smile after hearing my story so to the writers of UISTT make sure you insert jokes while writing this, if you aren’t going to do that then don’t tell my story. So let’s stroll to my story

UISTT: this is a very sad story so bear with us if there are no jokes or the jokes inserted aren’t funny or are wrongly timed and yeah, we are in italics

Once upon a time, I’m not going to give my name or an alias but I am/was a 100l student in the faculty of science. Let me tell you guys a bit of a back story. I graduated secondary school as the best graduating student and got all distinctions in my WAEC which made my secondary school give me a scholarship. That being said, I enjoy being in the university the freedom was bliss, don’t get me wrong I wasn’t caged up at home but not having to answer to anybody was pretty awesome. First semester was kind of alright, I adapted well to the university despite going to a day secondary school…let me not bore you with my life history and jump to the meat of the story; Jimmy, my friend would love this, he always  said “do you know who I like to meet? Girls with meat.”

Imagine this is an Afmag movie, get your phones and ear plugs and play Olorun mi by Tiwa Savage as the soundtrack of this article.

It was exam period and I was just getting used to the TDB trend, at first I was doing it because my friends were doing it but after some time it became a part of me. My first paper was the following day Monday and I was prepared to read till I got the exam questions in my front. It was 3:20am on Sunday morning and I was 100% sure I was dozing off so I decided to hit facebook for a while. As I was scrolling through my wall I saw a post from my aunty (from my mother’s side) with terrible graphic pictures below, on a normal day I would have ignored it but the pictures were just too horrible not to look at the post. I started reading it and the first line changed my life forever

“Lord why have you taken my sister and her family this early….”

I paused for 10 seconds and thought carefully about what I had just read, when it hit me that my mom had only one sister I fainted. I didn’t know how long I was out but I saw my friend, Simi, pouring water on me as I regained consciousness. I could also hear some stalites saying “….all these 100l student will read and kill themselves”. I was in Queens’s hall reading room at the moment so I got off the floor and went to my room. On getting to the room I wanted to complete the post till I realized I forgot my phone on the floor in the reading room. As I was about to run to the reading room to get my phone, Simi was stretching it towards me saying “don’t bother reading you’ve read enough, just sleep! See what reading has done to your phone”.

 I looked at the phone and noticed it has broken so I collected it and smiled saying “Thank You! Read for two O!” Was surprised I still had the energy to whine, deep down I was praying what I had read was a mistake.

I get back to fb, finished the post and realized my dad, mum and little brother all died in a car accident as they were coming back from church in the afternoon. Not sure of what to do I decided to call my aunt. It was no surprise she was up I greeted her and she asked why I was calling this early and my voice sounded like I was crying. I told her I saw her fb post and she sighed and said

“Aah! You were not meant to know now, I didn’t want to tell you because I heard you people were having exams….try not to bother about it and pass your papers….God knows best….”

Immediately it hit me this is not something like a joking stuvv, I had never been so confused in my life. I was so confused I couldn’t decide how to cry, I tried to get some sleep but I couldn’t I just kept on crying until I heard Simi shouting my name saying we will be late for the exam. FUCK! THE EXAM. In my present state of mind at that time I didn’t even know the 1x table. Knowing Simi and how emotional she was I didn’t tell her, let me not go and use my own and destroy somebody’s own. Going to the exam hall was a waste of time, I couldn’t think clearly, I was sure I was going to fail the course. And the same thing happened for my next few courses I couldn’t read because I wasn’t assimilating so I went home boycotting my last two papers.

Long story short, Dear Uites, I’m dropping out. Not because of financial reasons or anything but because I don’t see a reason to continue. The book of life came out and I passed, lol.... I'm on a pass, so I think it’s better I start over again. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do but like Kendrick said…“I’m fucked up, hommie you fucked up, but if God got us nigga we gonna be alright…”. If you don’t know that line then you are just disrespectful.